"Judging from your song "Scarlett Johansson Why Don't You Love Me," you appear to have a crush on Esquire's reigning Sexiest Woman Alive.
I do. However, the song has nothing to do with her. The idea behind the song was a story about a dude who uses escapist fantasy of dating a celebrity to distract himself from actually having to deal with his failed relationship. I simply chose her name because what better celeb is there to fantasize about than Scarlett? I'd be lying if I said I wasn't also hoping that maybe by some strange chance she'd hear the song, enjoy it, and come see us play.
Let's say that happens. What would you do next?
I'd take her someplace special where no one would recognize her, like Melino's, my favorite hoagie joint in Philly. Then maybe to some hidden park to have a picnic and feed ducks or something. I honestly wouldn't care where we went so long as it was quiet and we were free of distractions so I could get to know her better and listen to her talk in that foxy, raspy ass voice of hers. Hopefully, the date would end with some kissing.